The Brilliant But Joyless Stoicism of Marcus Aurelius

As far as modern opinions on Roman emperors go, Marcus Aurelius is a rock star. Granted that most Roman emperors ranged from the clinically insane to narcissistic dictators, so it doesn’t take much to raise above such a low bar, but still… good, ole Marcus Aurelius has stood the test of time, even having many fans today, and that’s impressive.

Much of the credit for popularizing Marcus Aurelius to contemporary audiences goes to Ryan Holiday, who has written several NY Times best-selling books about Stoicism in general and Marcus Aurelius’ philosophy in particular. I like Ryan as a person, we podcasted together once, and he quoted a passage of mine in one of his books. And I tend to agree with most of what he writes on the value of Stoicism. However, I do have some reservations about certain aspects of Stoic philosophy, and even more about Marcus Aurelius himself.

Let’s go in order, though. Let me start with something I found fascinating in Marcus Aurelius’ writings. There’s a ritual MA engaged in as soon as he woke up: before getting up and doing anything, he’d prime his mind to get ready for the day ahead. He’d visualize all the challenges, the obnoxious people and the unpleasantness that he would have to deal with before the sun would set. He would then remind himself not to react with anger, but instead to focus on how he could play his cards in the best possible way. It’s pointless to get mad at the cards you are dealt. I mean… if it makes you feel better, howl at the moon for a while or whatever helps you vent, but eventually use your energy to figure out how to play the best hand possible with the cards you are given. In other words, MA used a mix of visualizations and self-pep talks to create the best frame of mind to remain centered for the rest of the day.

There’s a beautiful line from Homer’s Iliad that seems fitting here. “Rise up and do battle.” I recall quoting this to myself on many mornings in order to remind myself not to deal with the day to come as a victim, as someone who would simply emotionally react at whatever came my way, but to approach it with a presence, a spirit, an energy that hopefully I could be proud of by the end of the day. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but by reminding ourselves of the standards we want to live up to, we increase the odds that events won’t catch us by surprise and throw us off balance.

Another point MA scores in my book is that he wasn’t telling other people how to live. The Stoic ideals he espoused were for himself. He didn’t expect others to live according to them. As he wrote, “…be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.” And as renowned historian Edward Gibbon wrote about MA, “severe to himself, indulgent to the imperfection of others, just and beneficent to all mankind.” That’s a fantastic attitude to have in life.

So, I’m on the Marcus Aurelius bandwagon? Not exactly. I very much appreciate the above and several other insights of his, but… reading The Meditations I’m immediately struck by the overall joyless tone that characterizes MA’s worldview. The emphasis here is on how trivial, vain and ultimately worthless earthly preoccupations are. Over and over again MA hammers how nothing lasts (which is true) and how therefore nothing humans do ultimately mean anything anyway (also mostly true, but he adds a rather pessimistic interpretation on the undeniable transitory nature of existence). Gregory Hays, a brilliant translator of MA’s work, comes to the same conclusion, “…even those who love the book cannot deny that there is something impoverishing about the view of human life it presents. Matthew Arnold, whose essay on the work reveals a deep respect and affection for Marcus, identified the central shortcoming of his philosophy as its failure to make any allowance for joy, and I think this is a fair criticism. Marcus does not offer us a means of achieving happiness, but only a means of resisting pain. The Stoicism of the Meditations is fundamentally a defensive philosophy; it is noteworthy how many military images recur, from references to the soul as being “posted” or “stationed” to the famous image of the mind as an invulnerable fortress.”

His philosophy is one of duty. There’s little room for beauty or love. My take is that MA’s Stoicism could have gained from some yin-yang balance adding some laughter and the capacity to actually enjoy life to effectiveness, self-control and discipline. The inability of finding that balance, as we will see, will have terrible results on his son Commodus, and the empire itself. Which is my second major criticism of Marcus Aurelius.

So, let’s jump into that. The biggest failure of MA’s life began as a private one and turned into a gigantic crisis that undid whatever good he had created for Roman society. It’s not exactly controversial to argue that MA failed as a parent. Sources describe his son Commodus as a nice enough kid, who was easily influenced by a terrible upbringing. In all of this, MA was never there to be a halfway decent parent to Commodus. It sounds like the typical case of a father so busy with work that he neglects to pay attention to his son. The problem is that this wasn’t just a parental problem. Paradoxically, it was also a failure of MA’s precious duty since, by not molding a worthy successor, he didn’t guarantee the long term welfare of the empire. Maybe, had he spent a little more time raising his kid, he’d have benefited the empire more than through some of his actual work. Or at the very least, he could have acknowledged that his son didn’t have what it took to make a good emperor, admit his faults as a parent, and picked a better successor. Adopting someone who could take over the empire wasn’t a strange concept. But he didn’t do that either. The result was that his son became one of the worst emperors in the long list of awful Roman emperors, and did massive damage to Roman society. As Cassius Dio described him, “a greater curse to the Romans than any pestilence or any crime.”

So, my advice is to mix some joy along with the Stoicism in your morning coffee.

For the full story of Marcus Aurelius’ life, please check out the History on Fire series I did about him in episode 73 and episode 74.