A How-To Guide for Dictators and Cult Leaders

It feels like someone accelerated the pace of history. The world has changed more in then past 150 years than in many centuries before. And the pace is constantly increasing. Fast changes without time to adapt to them have a tendency to create anxiety. Add to this the flood of information bombarding us 24/7 plus the awareness of major existential challenges facing humanity, and the result is obvious: widespread fear, confusion and nostalgia for the good, ole days (never mind that they weren’t really that good… that’s a different story).

Unfailingly, historical times when fear and anxiety rule are the perfect time for wannabe dictators and cult leaders. Fear works as fertilizer on fields of anger. And a terrified, angry population will gladly follow any reassuring father figure telling them that they can fix all the problems that are making them despair. There’s a reason why dictators and cult leaders are popular whenever things look bleak. To many people, fake hope is better than no hope. And dictators and cult leaders are masters at selling fake hope. Often, we imagine dictators and cult leaders to gain power through nefarious means. More often than not, they accomplish their goal because people willingly and enthusiastically surrender themselves to them.

Given that we are living smack in the middle of one of these ages, I’ll present to you a guide to turn crisis into opportunity. So, buckle up, turn on your sarcasm meter on and let’s go for a ride.

HOW TO GET MONEY AND SEX BY STARTING A RELIGIOUS CULT

Ok, girls and boys, today we’ll study the blueprint to get mountains of sex and money by starting a religious cult.

Just to make sure you are suited for the job, let’s go through some of the prerequisites: first, you need to be an awful human being who doesn’t have the tiniest scruple about preying on the weak. In case you find this first step difficult, at the very least you need to be narcissistic and self-delusional enough as to overcome any moral restraint you may have by convincing yourself that you are not really exploiting your followers, but acting for their own good: turning them into your sex slaves is just a way to help them get over their hang ups; pushing them to donate all their wealth to you is a way to teach them to overcome attachments to the material world so they can become more spiritual ...

If you can get through this, you need to have an intense personality and a commanding presence. In the cult game, personal charisma is half the battle.

No one will give you the keys to their lives if you sound like a monotone version of their third grade math teacher.

Bottom line, you need to appear exciting, and sound believable when you promise your followers that their miserable existences will be filled with miracles. Being a little crazy can also help as long as you can spin your insanity as a form of divine enlightenment that only seems crazy to the unenlightened masses. Since most followers, by definition, consider themselves unenlightened, you have a decent shot at selling this bullshit to them.

Oh, yes ... bullshit. I almost forgot. Having a black belt in bullshit is probably the most important requirement of all. No matter how wild your claims, and how reality disproves them, you can be shielded by your great skill in bullshitting. Anything can be rationalized. Anything can be spun to your advantage, including failed promises and prophecies. You need to have an answer to every objection, and seem so sure of yourself as to make it appear that anyone not seeing the truth of your answers is obviously a moron. Since most people don’t like being considered morons, they may second-guess their initial opposition, particularly if you have already recruited a few diehard followers on your side. There’s strength in numbers. Mob mentality rules. The greater the number of people swallowing your bullshit as if it were gold, the greater the self-confidence required by anyone who wants to question you. “It doesn’t seem right”—those on the fence may think—“but can I really be the only one who sees this? Can all these people really be wrong?” Once you get them thinking this way, expect them to be your followers before the day is over.

Being intelligent is not a strict prerequisite but it helps. Alternatively, you just need to find followers who are significantly dumber than you, which will make your job of manipulating them much easier. In either case, foster psychological dependency and use your followers’ insecurities to your benefit (incidentally, this is something that happens on a regular basis within most major organized religions, so remember you have lots of competition).

Which religion you pick is not too important. You can either argue that your message is the true version and fulfillment of an already popular religion, or you can start your own thing from scratch. There are advantages and disadvantages in each. But regardless of what you choose, you need to enlist God on your side. You can’t be too moderate here. You are either God’s ultimate prophet, or God Himself. Jim Jones (of Jonestown Massacre fame) proclaimed he was the reincarnation of Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha and Lenin. David Koresh more moderately only claimed to be the second coming of Jesus. And Da Free John would simply say he was “the living truth, the way of salvation, and the Eternal Master of Men.” (Mmmhhh ... I wonder if this is what he put on his business card ....) It is a lot easier to convince people to part with their cash and spouses if they feel it’s God who is asking for them.

Coming up with a flamboyant name may help by making you sound more exotic and out there, but it could also backfire, depending on your audience, so be careful (were there really people who took seriously a dude who called himself Da Free John?!?)

Last, but not least, it may be a good idea to create a sense of urgency. I strongly recommend predicting some cosmic apocalypse about to consume the world (except for your followers, of course) or coming up with a horrible conspiracy by some evil enemy out to get you (anyone who sounds powerful— from the devil to the U.S. government—would do). Nothing brings people together and make them more fanatical than facing some common threat.

If you follow the previous steps and play your cards right, the sky is the limit. You want multiple wives? Done. Your own private island in Fiji? No problem. Just make sure you don’t run out of bullshit when some of your followers realize you have been playing them all along.

P.S. of course, you can skip the religious part altogether and apply the same model to creating a political cult.

P.P.S. Part of the above comes from a book I published about a decade ago.